don’t know what to do

hi,
im currently in high school and am suicidal. i am like my user name suggests at the end of wits. i am currently failing the simplest of classes like scuplutre and have cut myself on purporse and on accident. i have had not only the upper class man talk about how much i suck at the sport i play and how i over due myself and say im good when i clearly never say im good. im torn for a girl which i thought would be the one and was my first true love. after she broke up with me about after trying for a long time now to get back together. when she first broke up she told me she dosent know her feelings later dating a guy. 2 weeks later were making out and doing some sexual stuff when she suddenly back stabs me. we come through the problem and its my b-day she decides that the best present to give is not sex but a broken heart. she breaks it again. my family life i horrible i swear at my mom and call her a ***** constantly. my dad is in some far off land making money for the family and when i need him the most he’s gone. i also think im a little of a drama king. i have been sucicdal since i
was about 6 years old im now 14. and the main problem is when i try to get help it back fires and makes it all worse for me. i constaly look at every object near me and think how can i kill myself with this. again im at the end of my wits