My wife, lover, soulmate and carer walked out on me 6 months ago. I have tried suicide 4 times and been sectioned twice, just got out on thursday after drinking 1 1/2 litres of morphine and other tablets. I was revived three times in intensive care and still i want to die.
I have no job, my children wont talk to me, my youngest left my home last week and i live in physical pain daily. I am treat by everyone around me in my village with contempt, they all think i,m a nutter for trying to kill myself repeatedly. I have been home 4 days now and not one person has asked how i am, i am treat worse than a paedaphile. I am in total isolation.My only crime in life is loving my wife (20 year marriage) and children. I am a loser in life and my heart is broken and the pain is too much to bear daily. I did nothing wrong to my wife, she left one night and dumpted me by text the next day, its like she died. I later found out she was having an affair all along.
Tonight i am using the H2S method and really hope this ends my suffering. I have begged my wife to come back but she is in love with someone else. I am dead on the inside and really hope tonight ends my suffering. This world is a cruel place and i no longer want to be part of it. I ignore the phone, throw all mail in the bin, i am too depressed to continue. Loneliness is the biggest killer of all, i only wanted to be a good husband and father in life and everything has been taken away from me. I only hope my wifes boyfriend becomes a better father figure to my children than me after my suicide attempts.
3 comments
Wow. That is tough, Brian. I certainly do not blame you for seeking death. If your life is as bad as you say it is, good luck with your plans. And happy traveling.
The story was sad. Your wife and children. All of it.
I hope this is what you want, I will not try to change your mind. I will not judge you.
All I can say is that I’m surprised on how long you lasted since your wife left you. That must’ve been a terrible heartbreak. You’re indeed strong. But sometimes life just becomes too much for even the strongest of us.
You will be remembered, Brian. And again, good luck.
you can get through this, i knowyou can. And if you don’t think you can then talk to me, ill make you laugh, and i think laughing will help you a lot. I had the pills all lined out for me yesterday and im still here. I still feel like i want to end my life but we are both alive at this very moment for a reason. You have waited 6 months and it may have been a struggle but i mean life is a ***** and its going to be tough, but why did you wait this long? you could have ended your suffering a long time ago, which means you still have been living for something.. anything.. even if it simply because you like to watch football. it is SOMETHING and anything keeping you alive at this very moment is very much worth living for. Its weird that I have been contemplating suicide the last two days and the second I come on here and see how upset and lonely people are all I want to do is help them. I am only 21 years old but I think I could give you a fresh look on your situation. If you need anything, please, do not hesitate to contact me.
Brian, if this is how you feel, no one can change your mind, but what harm would it do if you gave me 24 hours? 24 hours of conversation. 24 hours to leave your legacy with me so the world will understand how you felt before you left. Spend this time with me. I hope I’m not too late.
mrslindseylambert@gmail.com