haha life

I slipped last night and i dont regret it but i had been so good for the past month and then my aunt started saying hurtful things and my best friend who is almost my sister doesnt want me around her baby. The marks are visible and yet all i get is a glance a sigh and then they are gone. I know they are fed up with me and i try so hard to get better but they dont help. I wish my family would help an i love you or please talk to me anything would be better than suffering alone in a house that hates me. i sat on the couch and let the blood run free and no one even gave me a second glance even when i tell them i need help. I love them so much that i cant commit suicide but once my father passes on i have a plan and it will work. I have been working on it for months, i have place a way to make sure the cops find me before anyone else does and a gun to make sure it works. I will look up that sky one last time while listening to the music that i have built my life around and end it without another thought. Everything will go to my sister and i will leave my only note to make sure they know hwy i did it. I have comfort in the thought that i will get to leave this life on my time and i will just wait and watch as everything goes on around me.