Hey there. Let me tell my story for you guys. I’m a 16 yeard old girl and yesterday, I was on twitter just poking around when I accidentally found this site: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Since I have had those suicidal feelings I started to read it. Next thing I know I was crying. A lot. All because I really wished someone had done it for me, but I never told anyone so… Then I found The Suicide Project website. At first, I tried to read some stories keeping a straight face, but then I just couldn’t handle it. I started to cry again. I was crying like a baby and the reason was that I could identify with most of the stories:
• Crying myself to sleep almost everyday
• Feeling lonely all the time
• Not telling anyone in fear of hearing “That’s no reason to suicide” or “That’s just crap”
But the thing is, I didn’t really had a reason to feel that way. I don’t have lots of friends but the ones I have, I would’t trade for nothing in the world! They’re just the best. And my family was always there for me. But I just didn’t feel like living anymore. I went to the street thinking “It’d be so great if I got shot right now” and cried for the silliest of the reasons. I had lost so much weight, was so skinny. But I didn’t want to kill myself because I thought about my mom, dad, grandma, and best friend. Then one day, I said to myself “Fuck that shit, fuck it all”. I was decided. But I suffered so hard that I thought “Oh, I’ll wait one more week, maybe it’ll get better” but it didn’t. Once, I spent the whole morning crying in the bathroom. My mom said “I’ve had enough, I’ll take you to the doctor” and I was like whatever.. It’s not going to change a thing. The doctor gave me a receipt to a antidepressive and I started taking it. The first 2 weeks were awful, I felt maniac, and if let alone, I’d definetly try something. But I didn’t. But I’m okay now. I’m happy again. Even though it’s the first time I ever say to someone that I’ve had suicidal feelings.
And the reasons I’m here, telling this story, are my beloved friends, family and, as weird as it may seem, my dog. And I wanted to shared my story to give you guys some hope, to make you see that, if you try, it may get better.
And I will leave my e-mail here because, at the time, I really wish there was somebody to help me, someone I could talk to without feeling judged. So PLEASE, feel free to e-mail me at any time so we can talk. A friendly shoulder to give you support, for you to cry if you need to. Please. Good luck xx
iwant2helpu@yahoo.com
iwant2helpu@yahoo.com