I said in my last post that I wouldn’t be posting here anymore, but I need to. I need this place. I need it to vent.
And to you, you know who you are, if you’re watching me then fuck you. I will find you and seriously beat your ass down and both April and I will not show you any mercy like Rachel continues to do. I’m not as kind as I used to be anymore, thankfully, you made me like this now.
So, to you guys who have commented and responded honestly and wholeheartedly to my posts, thank you. (: I don’t know if any of you remember me much at all, but I’m still going through with my year plan. So far it’s been a little over a month for me and things HAVE gotten better, but who’s to say that they won’t take a change for the worse? We’ll just have to see where this shithole called life takes me.
The only thing that’s honestly pushing me towards oblivion are certain individuals who I do not need in my life at the moment, especially certain individuals who seem to constantly contradict me in every aspect of everything that I do. I know that they’ll never read this, so let me just say this now to them: FUCK YOU. Truly, and honestly, FUCK OFF. I’m sososososoSO ridiculously tired of the fact that you pretend you know how I feel. Stop pitying me, I don’t need your fucking pity. And honestly, it sickens me how freakishly optimistic you are about everything. I can’t wait until the world falls on you and you realize that this fucking life we’re living isn’t full of fucking sunshine and rainbows. Honestly, it’s going to be fantastic if my year plan goes though, especially because of how fucked up it will make your life.
It’s completely morbidly sadistic of me, yes I know, but I honestly hate you so much that I think you deserve it.
I’m guessing I’m just reaching that point where I’m growing weary of people and of this idiotic facade that is my life.
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Nothing is ever easy is it? The best way to piss off someone who hates you is to go on and make something of yourself, and be a better person than they ever could . . . but that feels counterintuitive. Because when someone hurts you or makes you that angry, you want to die. Fuck em. Piss them off however you think you can.