Suicide, my solace

The darkness is my sanctuary,

I long for the mortuary,

The pleasure of breathing now pains,

Agony makes life from me slowly drain.

I’m nothing to lose,

No longer am I willing to be confused,

The anguish erodes my sanity,

I’ m a disgrace to humanity.

They break me, tear me, and lynch me,

Their insults erase me,

I fear their every comment,

It leads me into hell’s descent.

My angered screams are mute to mankind,

But inside my worthless soul, the silence confined,

The twinge of their disenchantment deafens my essence,

As I long for their agonized grievance.

Why is it I can never do things right,

My hands and tongue inherited from Satan’s demise,

My body is like the fire of hell,

Sometimes I feel like its discriminators would repel.

My mind convinces me that I have no merit,

I long to end these lethal invectives with this single bullet,

I can’t handle the “You’ll never  be good enough,”

I can’t take the “You worthless slut”.

I have no purpose in this life,

The only thing I love is my cherished knife,

It scars symbols of hurt to remind me,

That I’m worth nothing to everybody.

They’ve criticized and antagonized my every doing,

The avenge on myself slowly brewing,

Now I’m ready to face it,

My lamp of life soon to be unlit.

I’m slow to apprehend the concept of life,

I’m being stabbed to death with Satan’s Knife,

My reality now covered by sinned blood,

My memories escape my opened flesh in torturous floods.

I’ve left this world because I didn’t belong,

Rejected from right, embraced in wrong,

Now allow my worthless soul to perish for your sins,

Allow it to disintegrate in the insults you cradled me in.

I’m sorry to those I’ve hurt,

But you’ve hurt me too, I must assert,

I’m sorry that I was such a disappointment and a mistake,

I’m sorry…I’ll ease your lives and never again come awake.