This story was inspired by ‘life sucks thin u die’ please give her due credit; and for anyone who wants to laugh at a mouse killing some elephants, enjoy!
The Short Tale of Rambo Mouse
Mouse Rambo crouched behind the bushes, staring past the playground in front of him to the extraction helipad, not 400 yards away, awaiting him. He turned his head back to the playground, letting his eyes skip across the four elephants guarding the place. They were armed to the tusks, with razor sharp sticks, keen ears, and the ability to breathe mouse-killing fire.
Rambo reached into his black NAVY-mouse backpack and pulled out his binoculars, gripping the cold metal and cackling as he marked the location of his enemies with a gentle *click* of a button. He would have to create a diversion to make it through this alive. He looked across the playground, the cool breeze ruffling his fur as his eyes caressed the playground. Suddenly, he spotted it. A weak point in the swing set, just below the 40th chain link on the swing. Perfect. Rambo quickly crawled from his hiding place, his stick-proof vest scraping against the ground as he glided across the brick. He reached the ledge, stole a quick glance over to the elephants to make sure they weren’t looking, and jumped, activating his mechanical mouse wings in mid-air. The wind whipped across his fur and into his wings, causing him to glide across the top of the buildings. Rambo squinted his eyes, making a sharp dive for the brown park bench to his right. Right before he hit the ground, he retracted his wings and hit the ground paws-first, executing a James Bond-style barrel roll with perfection. The mouse did a little dance of victory, throwing his paws in the air rapidly and shaking his tale, before getting back to business.
He crouched low, looking at the nearest elephant; its muscles rippled below its thick gray skin as it walked across the playground, each of its steps causing the ground to shake as it moved away from the mouse. Now was the time. The mouse sprinted across the concrete and dove over the ledge into the woodchips. He quickly mouse-crawled his way over to the swing-set, gritting his teeth as the wood chips occasionally scraped his sides. He leaned up against the pole, looking at the elephant not 10 feet away from his position and closing. He would have to do this quickly. The mouse reached behind himself to his backpack and took out his C-4 high cheese explosive, capable of splitting the molecules of cheese and causing a catastrophic explosion. He stuck it to the side of the pole and quickly started shuffling back to his position.
It was too late. “Hey!” he heard the elephant shout, and turned around to see it glaring at him with firey eyes. The elephant began to sprint towards the mouse. Rambo quickly stood up, sending woodchips flying everywhere as he held the detonator up. The look in the elephant’s eyes went from one of anger to one of pure terror.
“AH CRAAAAP!” the elephant yelled as the mouse pressed the detonator, cutting the cheese. The bomb exploded next to the elephant, sending thousands of gobs of molten-hot cheese through its thick gray skin.
The other elephants looked over and saw the mouse. The third elephant began charging at the mouse, each of its footsteps echoing off the walls of the school next to the playground. The mouse let out his war cry. “CHHEEEZZZEEEE!!!!!!” Rambo charged forward, pulling out his cheeze knuckles. The elephant opened his mouth and unleashed a tirade of mouse-killing fire. The mouse dodge-rolled to the left across the woodchips, feeling the flames singe his whiskers as he got up. “oh HELL no!” the mouse exclaimed. He ran forward and started throwing mouse ninja-stars at the elephant, piercing one of its eyes. The elephant yelled in pain as it hit the ground, clutching its eye. Rambo quickly ran up and jumped up onto the wounded elephant, bouncing off its belly and launching himself towards the second elephant. The elephant screamed as the mouse upper-cutted the behemoth, sending his jaw up through his cranium and severing his spine.
The mouse landed on the woodchips, the elephant crashing to the ground behind him not a second later as he walked towards the last elephant, who was cowering in fear on the park bench. The mouse looked towards the elephant…and flexed his muscles.
“AAH CRAP!” the elephant tried to back away and fell over the park bench, crawling backwards across the ground away from the mouse. The mouse skuttled toward the elephant, yelling haunting phrases like ‘boo’ and ‘I’z a mouse!’ The elephant tried hurling some woodchips at the mouse, but Rambo quickly dove out of the way and climbed up the building, making his way right above the elephant.
The mouse cackled one more time, diving down towards the elephant. Right as he reached the elephant’s ear, he bellowed with all his might “MOUSE!!” the elephant screamed and went limp, falling to the ground with a loud THUD, dead from fright.
Rambo looked over at the elephant and grinned, looking at his picture on the elephant’s “top priority” list that had fallen out of his pocket.Â He looked up at his extraction site and quickly pattered over to the helipad and waited for the helicopter.Â His gaze shifted the clouds, where a mouse-copter was slowly appearing amid the setting sun, which was sending brilliant shades of golden-orange light across the open field.Â The mouse closed his eyes, feeling a gentle breeze sweeping across his whiskers.Â He’d be happier, but he wouldn’t be truly content until his job was done.Â He wouldn’t be happy until…
He destroyed the super mega elephant, Captain Tnahpele.
THE ADVENTURES OF RAMBO MOUSE TO BE CONTINUED…