Today I felt like I didnt belong. When do I ever feel like I do? I make everyone mad or upset because of my actions. I just want to curl up in a hole and die. I cant handle bearing the weight of the pain of the ones i love anymore. Seeing someone sad just kills me inside, and if I am the source of their pain, I want to shoot myself. Everyone makes mistakes; I know that, but why cant life be easier? It seems like we are all just little experiments for someone’s science fair. “Oh, we are going to see how this one reacts to emotional pain today.” Some days it seems like there is no where to go from any of this. The escapes of daily shit just dont help anymore, or they get worse. For me, my escapes lately have been cutting, or smoking. I cant handle killing myself by using these methods to get rid of this pain. I just want it all to be over, but I dont want to hurt anyone else that I love again…
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2 comments
Oh, my god. :/ those same thoughts cross my mind.
I was going down reading the stories and stopped by to read yours. and i thought that too. i dont feel like i belong anywhere, and whatever i do makes someone mad/frustraded or upset with me. i hate that. :/ i feel like i can never do something right. I used to cut too, but i listened to this one song and now musics been my escape. i just curl up in my bed blasting my music, screaming and crying. i realized by harming myself it wont do anything better. it wont make my problems disapear and it just made the people who found out about it mroe upset with me.
but hey, if you ever just need someone to talk to or need help i could possibly help you.
Thank you. You sound like the first intelligent person on this site; please email me at rasmusluvrmcr@yahoo.com, I would love to talk with a person on this site who actaully has a brain. I am a cutter as well, so don’t think me naive… Hold on until we can talk, ok?