Dunno if I will fit in here: Serious feeling of a terrible tiredness of living…And pursued for so long by terrifying phobias and dark, dark thoughts.
I have been living in this purgatory since my first panic attack when I turned 18….31 years ago! 10 years of “lounging” in any and every emergency rooms in my country of birth ( France), and in different countries. A life of worries, fears, lightened-up with only some rare flashes of happiness.
I am at a loss to comprehend why I should keep on dealing with this anymore, and yet, ironically, I fear death as terribly as I do with my phobias and panic attacks.
But tonight is so void of anything worth keeping up with this life. Fortunately (?) thanks to my two cats, I survive bleakly, but knowing that I have to make sure they’re well taking care of.
Meds suck and do not heal you; it will only cover up the cause of this mental (disease), I have to deal with on 24hrs basis, temporally.
2 comments
Meds do suck, but they help take the edge off. They help make you a little stronger to get therapy to address the deeper issues. Mental Illness often isn’t curable, but it’s treatable.
Just remind yourself, that tomorrow could be better. Find a doctor that will actually help you and not just medicate you. Practice positive thinking. Practice imagining how amazing life would be w/o mental illness, and see help.
I am here to listen. mrslindseylambert@gmail.com
You’ve come this far. Why give up now? Even if it’s something you may consider small or minor, as long as someone or something is there for you, you still have it. And it’s there for you.
Hope you get better soon.