Why am I still here? All this shit has gotten to me so many times in the past, I just cant handle it. Everytime I am in front of people, I fake a smile so they wont worry. Suicide would be so simple for me, for anyone. I wish I could just get away from them; the cause of my pain. I wish I could be someone else so I didnt have to deal with any of this… Ive fucked up enough, and I just want to be done… Every night I just cry myself to sleep, thinking how worthless I am to everyone. I cant bear to see myself anymore. Im scared of what will happen if i live… Im scared of what would happen if i was selfish enough to take my own life. I just have no idea what to do anymore.
7 comments
I feel your pain. I honestly do.
There is NOTHING selfish about suicide…that is bullshit perpetrated by the media…don’t believe any of it. Suicide is a cry for help not having ANYTHING to do with suicide. I’m not yelling or trying to be mean or an asshole, I just want to let you know that it’s not selfish…so if anyone tells you it is…you know what to tell them.
i know what you mean. i used to be so strong when i was a kid. i didn’t really cry till i was like 14. now i’m 17 and i haven’t gone a whole day without crying for like three months. there are so many big things to get fucked up over i can’t even handle the little things anymore.
damn this sounds like something i would right so i will say i know a lot of people know your pain i hate putting of a fake ass smile but if i dont thin people start talking and thats the last thing i need
exactly what i mean…
Im just sick of everything going on.
in high school i was known as the popular, athletic, smart, funny, pretty girl who had it all… and i came to college and became a suicidal girl who didnt want to be involved with anything. i was pretty much sick of living my life (even though everyone thought it was perfect, I HATED IT!) but i continued to put on that damn fake smile and act like nothing was wrong… 3 years later I am still miserable but putting that smile on is getting harder and harder and seems absolutely pointless now. I know exactly where you are coming from. dont smile for anyone but yourself…only then is the smile real and worth it!
hopeforme i understand what u mean but think if u dont put up a fake smile thin u will have more shit than u need and xstoryofmylifex3 i would tell u to just leave and tell them all to go fuck them selfs but i am not that type of girl and i dont have that kind of hart but and idk if u have that kind either lol if u ever need to talk i am hear aseibel92@gmail.com you sound like we would have stuff in commen cuz i know how u feel i really do