can’t be selfish.

I would do anything to kill myself.
It’s not that I don’t have the guts, but I can’t do that to my family.
I’ve tried before..and lets just say, our insurance didn’t pay for it, so it cost them a couple grand in hospital bills.
My parents don’t have that kind of money to spend. In fact, they don’t have money, period.
Raising four kids is tough enough, but when two of them our in collage? They own a small business, but with the economy being so bad, they’re lucky if they get two or three paying customers a day.
So if I did die, you know how much that would cost them?
Funeral bills and all of that? They cannot afford that.
When I tried to talk about how I felt about with my sister, she told me that she thinks people who commit suicide are selfish, and only thinking about themselves. I don’t want to be like that.
When I did attempt suicide, my brother sent me a long hateful text message telling me I was a selfish **** and I just wanted attention and so much more.
It just seems like, the only thing I can do to end my depression, I can’t do! I cut myself frequently to get a little glimpse of suicide.
I can’t only think about myself. I must think of others. I feel like no one understands me.