I may not live to adulthood. I may perish before then. If I donâ€™t, who will care? It wonâ€™t affect anyone. I can make no difference in this world. I only ruin the environment and economy with the food and drink I intake and the price I cost. Life would be easier and better for everyone if I werenâ€™t around. I must not show my death wishes or true emotions to others; that shows weakness to myself and nature. I cry every now and then, I let it all out. I never cry in front of anybody; it shows a state of patheticness. I’m feeling hopeless, I have my knife nearby always, I try not to cut, I manage not to, but I will soon.