Can I Survive?

I felt the needle puncture my skin and the liquid spread inside of me. I tightly closed my eyes, receiving the tingly feeling I so often craved. I had little money, but what money I did have went towards getting high on illegal drugs. Next the cocaine. I injected that into my left arm, I felt the drug reach my blood stream and I felt more alert. I felt my body temperature go up. My eyes opened wide and I looked around, I listened. I felt like I had just drunk high caffeine coffee and it felt good. I looked through my small brown bag filled with more drugs. I found a bottle of butyl nitride; I opened the container and smelt the vapors. I felt my heart pound faster and harder, I felt my face and neck grow red, my veins throbbed of high blood pressure, and an unforgiving pain shot into my brain and I got suddenly dizzy. I ended with a block of hashish; I put it in my mouth and chewed. My memory became fuzzy, I couldn’t pack my supplies back up, I felt panicked, and my heart pounded again. That was enough for tonight; I took my drugs and beer and stumbled out of the alley. I went to the old train station where all of us high, homeless folks slept. I lay down on a small patch of dead grass and was out cold in less than a minute. I woke up to the clock tower chiming noon . I looked around; all the other vagabonds were still asleep. I stood up with some difficulty, I still felt dizzy from the night before. I craved getting high again, but I knew I had to spread it out throughout the week in order to have enough. Maybe tonight I would. I wandered away from the rail yard closer to town. I walked past a woman and child, the woman picked her child up as I passed and gave me a dirty look. Most parents reacted that way to me, a homeless drug addict. I just walked these streets everyday, same route, same town, same time. I reached my usual spot and sat down. I pulled out my dirty paper cup and held it out to passersby. Once in awhile somebody would drop a few coins in my cup without a second glance. I just sat and watched the world go by. After awhile I looked into my cup, I had already drunk my six-pack and I had enough change to buy another cheap one. So I went to the liquor store and bought one. I took it into an alley. I leaned into the corner behind some garbage cans and drank one beer, then another, and another, and another, and another, until all six bottles were empty and on the pavement. I closed my eyes and rolled my head onto one shoulder, God, that felt good, down a six-pack in less than ten minutes, when was the last time I did that? I missed the feeling it gave me. It was beginning to get dark by now. I stayed in my alley until the sun was completely gone, I took out my drugs. I found some codeine; I stabbed the needle into my arm. I did it over and over again, I couldn’t stop, the feeling it gave me, I had to have more. I felt dizzy, a sudden sweep of sadness flushed my soul, I injected it into my arm until I had none left. Now I was depressed. I found my amphetamines, good to relive my depression from the codeine. I took a few tablets, happiness filled my body, I felt recharged, like I could run a marathon without looking back. I packed up and ran to the rail yard. When I arrived there I immediately took three barbiturates tablets, they put me into a deep sleep of no mindedness.