why does everyone always say college is the best time of your life, enjoy it while it lasts. I am in absolute hell, a world that is not made for me and I do not belong here. Every single day when I wake up I struggle through until the night and then dont sleep because I know the sooner I go to sleep the sooner I have to wake up and pretend like I am so freaking happy here. I can not stand college, I can not stand the people here and I can not stand any single thing about it. If one more person tells me that I have nothing to worry about because I am in college and its easy living at this time in your life I am going to lose it because they have NO CLUE what I go through and how much I truely hate my life simply for that fact that I am in college. I know some people are going to say I am being very ignorant because some people dream of going to college and they would give anything in the world to get the chance to be in my situation but for me it is the complete opposite. I was forced to go to college even though I didn’t want to and despite the fact that I have no clue what I want to do in my life. Not knowing what you want to do gives you no motivation to get through these long days of classes and homework surrounded by people you can not stand. Because I have no motivation to be here my grades suffer and I do not give a shit about being here but I know that I have to so doing bad just makes it that much worse. It is the shittiest freaking circle I could have gotten myself in and it seems like every single day I have something else I have to worry about concerning school and all I really want to say is that I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT. I could care fucking less about college and yes I know “with this economy you need an education and yada yada” but I needed my time to decide what I wanted to do with my life but no I got stuck here anyway doing something for years that I am absolutely miserable doing. I am in my 4th year and because I have transferred and switched my major I will be here atleast another year.  How can I continue to wake up every morning and put in the motivation I need in order to get out in the next year or so if I could care less about this place or why I am here? I don’t know what to do and I truely believe that if I leave this earth at a young age it will be because of the stresses that are being put on me by people that don’t care how I truely feel.
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I’m going to attempt to resolve your emotional problems, I can’t help your education problems…
Now, it’s obvious, your mad, disgusted, and feeling despair from life simply because golden mansion isn’t in your range and people are telling you to move into the trailer house…and everyone around always says…”It happens all the time”….you wanna know something? Bull fucking shit or shut the fuck up, I even say that to my parents everytime they’ll bring up something like that and I can see through their reactions (even though they may be angry at first) they understand that I’m simply mad. And there’s nothing wrong with being mad. Seriously, and now is your time, to releash your inner emotion, anger. Unfortunately, your envy has overdosed and your feeling all of the negative aspects of it, so why not take everything on everyone else? Read this following sentence over and over again….YOU’LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. The ones graduating a year ahead of you, they’ll be gone, never to be seen at that college unless they’re in some bullshit club. So, if there’s someone particularly who nags not necessarily to you, but to your mind, let your emotion free and express it….YOU CANNOT HOLD IT IN, it has to be unleashed. Imagine keeping a mad killer dog on rusty old chains in your house who’s always growling, barking, showing its teeth, foam is coming out its mouth, red eyes…..do you want that fucking thing in your house? Of course not, set it out into the wilderness (those people who will graduate with a degree in their hand at 21 while your 22) and see from there.