Dark Thing: I’ve missed you pretty little Violet.
Me: No, no, no!! Go away, please. Leave me alone, I can better I swear!
Dark Thing: Tsk tsk, you don’t actually believe that do you, Violet?
Me: Yes, I do actually. So go away, stop harassing me why don’t you.
Dark Thing: Oh please, your not a child anymore Violet. I know you don’t really believe that Violet, you don’t believe anything you hear from anyone. You’re alone Violet, but not if you pick up the razor, just like old times.
Me: You are right, I am no child, so stop treating me like one. You can’t control me anymore, I…I won’t let you.
Dark Thing: Scared are we? Whatever for, Vi? I am just trying to be your friend.
Me: You? A friend? I highly doubt that.
Dark Thing: Don’t you trust me, Violet? I am only trying to make you feel better. When have I ever wronged you? Just stop acting like such a spoiled brat and PICK UP THE DAMN RAZOR.
Me: I said no! I’m in charge of my own life and I say your not in it!!
Dark Thing: Violet, sweet little Violet, your just so stupid aren’t you?
Me: I’m not your damn puppet, I SAID GO AWAY!!
Dark Thing: You can’t win against me, you can’t resist the temptation…
Me: I can!! I can and I will. I’ve spent my whole life being a slave to you and I’m done, go bother someone else for a change.
Dark Thing: I can’t Violet, I’m only here for you.
Me: Well I don’t want you anymore, I never did!
Dark Thing: Violet, please. Just do this for me, I don’t ask much of you, just this one little thing.
Me: NO.
Dark Thing: You are being very unreasonable, just like you were when you were eight years old and that bad man kept hurting you because you kept screaming for him to let you be, see what happens when you don’t listen to grown ups, little girl?
Me: STOP IT!!!!! It’s the past, I don’t care anymore, the counselor said I could get over it, my mother says I can get over it, I say I can get over it.
Dark Thing: Liars!! Don’t you see that Violet, they are just trying to get into your head and make you think that you are okay when your not!!!
Me: But…I could be.
Dark Thing: No Violet, you can’t be. You can NEVER be.
I fall to the ground in desperate sobs, picking up the razor and pressing it against my wrist…
Me: I HATE YOU.
9 comments
You can.
Just fuckin fight. No battle worth winning was ever easy (and I, too, have at least a hundred scars to prove that.) The hard thing though, is to fight without being angry. I know the anger is my trigger. I end up cutting my own arm or leg, because I want to cut someone else’s throat.
HOPE: Stop, it’s not worth it.
Me: But I can’t stop.
HOPE: Yes, you can. You have Someone who loves you.
Me: No, I don’t. What do you know, anyway? Who are you to tell me this?
HOPE: I’m here to help you.
Me: Why would YOU want to help ME?
HOPE: Because I LOVE YOU.
Me: Who the hell are you, in the first place?
HOPE: I’m you father.
Me: My father??
HOPE: Your Heavenly Father.
Me: What? Religion??? *I start to laugh* Why would you think I’d turn to RELIGION???
HOPE: It’s not RELIGION…Relgion is all about traditions and rituals..I’m offering a relationship.
Me: What the crap? A relationship?? Leave me alone! I don’t need you!
HOPE: Are you happy?
Me: What?
HOPE: I said are you happy? Happy to keep cutting yourself? Happy to not feel complete? Happy to feel rejected? Happy to never be fulfilled?
Me: What the heck?! Of course not!!! That’s obvious! But that doesn’t mean I need you! I can fight my own battles!
HOPE: Yeah? And how’d that go for you last night?
Me: So what? I cut myself one last time! Big deal!
HOPE: And I’m guessing you’ll start all over tonight?
Me: That’s none of your business! Just leave me alone! GO AWAY!
HOPE: I can help you stop! I can FULFILL you!!
Me: Yeah right!!
HOPE: TRUST me.
Me: Why would I trust anyone after all the shit that’s happened to me?
HOPE: I understand you! I was mocked, people spit at me, I was tortured literally, people wanted me dead.
Me: What? I thought you said you were God?
HOPE: I am, but I was rejected by many.
Me: What the-? This is so dumb, why am I even talking to you? I DON’T NEED YOU!!
HOPE: I love you.
Me: Those words mean nothing….the bad man said that to me too.
HOPE: I love you.
Me: Well, I don’t love you. I don’t even KNOW who you are.
HOPE: No matter what, I LOVE YOU.
Me: Even if I attempted suicide? And cut myself? And hurt myself? And was abused? And tried drugs? …pssh….yeah right!!
HOPE: Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! I LOVE YOU….this love is DIFFERENT than the “love” that bad man said he had…this love is real, it will last FOREVER.
Me: Stop feeding me this crap.
HOPE: It’s not crap, it’s the TRUTH.
Me: Well, Dear God, where were you when life was full of shit?! Why’d you let it happen if you LOVE me?? Huh?
HOPE: I was making you stronger. One day your story will help save other lives!
Me: So, you’ve put me through torture for OTHERS???!!
HOPE: No, I put you through that, so that you would find me. So you would save lives, and become stronger.
Me: I still can’t accept your love.
HOPE: You can reject my love, you can believe it doesn’t exist, but I sill still love you.
Me: Well, then STOP LOVING ME!!
HOPE: I can’t. I never will be able to, because my love is REAL!
Me: I’m not worth loving. My life is a one huge mistake.
HOPE: No, it’s not. Listen to me! Follow me! I can HELP you! You’ve been made for a purpose!
Me: What purpose? Helping drug dealers earn money? How would you know anyway?
HOPE: Because I MADE you!
Me: Hahahaa, yeah, suuure.
HOPE: I LOVE YOU. I’ll help you out of this mess. Just take my hand.
Me: I don’t think you can pull that hard.
HOPE: Yes I can.
Me: Really?
HOPE: Yes, it may take a little while to understand, but just know that I LOVE YOU and will NEVER stop loving you!!!
*I stretch out my hand to God, he accepts it, it’s taking a while to be pulled out, but at least I’m being pulled out…*
I can relate so much it’s scary. But I’m starting to think I don’t have a dark thing. is it just me all along. Another side of me?
I’m utterly confused at this point.
I’m sorry if I stopped emailing. There was a….problem that occured last night and this morning that caused all of my writing and information to be perminatly expunged from my iPod. So that means I no longer have my email account I used to email you from. Ehehe
So are you doing any better Vi? I’ll try to get a new email or recover the old one for you.
Lilia4life,
please consider to disconnect your life out of your friend “the grey-clothed” after you shall learn the serpent tempting you to the apple.
Good and evil are always vividly displayed together, shall the contrast be great.
May your power be with you always.
77evergone77,
your ipod broke down can be related to a foretell.
Good or bad depends on your way of handling it.
It’s like wind blowing through the slit under the front door.
It tells you there is strong wind outside.
If it’s cold weather, you have to wear more before opening the door.
If it’s hot, you may enjoy it as a breeze.
It’s just a change to be prepared in mind.
They say look before you leap.
fireflieslite,
hehe sorry I dont quite get what you’re saying, but whatever. Please don’t make any hate comments, though. Umm…Idk, that was just my personal strugle with religion. but umm…im not sure if its going anywhere. it’s pretty much idle. I still want to cut 😛
and wtf is with that emoticon, it was supposed to be like :PP not a happy face. -.-
: P
Fireflies
I don think so. More like my dad was beig evil so he unplugged it while I was updating it so it restarted.
77evergone77,
when things can be restarted easily, and reappear the same, yes, it doesn’t count as a fortell. It’s just an ordinary incidence.