Home General I am 18 years old, I know I know another stupid teen who wants to die, but I found this website and hmm why not? I was born in France and so were my parents, when I was 1 we moved to South America and then When I was 3 years old my father left me and my mom and took all our money, my mom sold all her jewlery and got a job cleaning places, and at the age of 6 we moved here to USA, I lived there for 4 years and then moved to Europe and there we moved again and again from Spain to France to Scotland, always leaving my friends behind, and now we moved back to USA. In all of this I been having suicidal thoughts since I was 12, I have something telling me at nights that I’m worthless and that I should die, I hanged myself, but eventually somehow I got a hold of a cabinet next to me, and managed to cut the rope, I keep trying and trying, I really want to live, not for me but for my mom, she raised me and I love her, I don’t want her walking into my corpse someday, I really don’t have anything to live for, but I want her to be happy, all I need is a way to keep myself alive until she dies, then I will kill myself with no trouble at all I don’t care if it hurts like hell I can’t take it I hear voices telling me to hang myself, to take pills, over and over again, like 4 times a day, I don’t have friends because of the voices, it’s probably me saying all this but I can’t make myself stop from hearing the voices, everyday they make me cry, why do I have this? It’s like they take control of my body and make me pull my hair until I start bleeding, I don’t believe in religion, but is there a cure for this devil in me? I don’t know how else to describe it, it happens when I’m alone. I know you all don’t care, but the other day I almost jumped off this building, I didn’t stand on the edge because I don’t want attention, but I pass trough there everyday and one day I think I will do it.
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