my name is Suzy and ive been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. i have a feeling that he is cheating on me but he keeps saying hes not. i have very low self esteem Â im very jealous and protective of him. i hate him talkin to any other girls besides me… i dont know if thats normal its just the way i am. well hes in the army and does drill once a month… and i have a feeling that this girl named kelly is trying to hook up with him when hes there. Â i check his email and facebook and seeÂ messagesÂ between them that make me wonder.. i love my boyfriend to death and i dont want to lose him. but the more he does this the more clingy i get and the more he pushes away…we dont even have sex anymore which makes me think hes doing it with her.. i dont know what to do.. theres no way i could leave him.. i dont want to be alone and i dont want to start over.. ive been so depressed and suicidal for the past 2 weeks and i just want to find a way out.. can someone please tell me how to kill myself painlessly and quick and make it look like anÂ accident??