Im losing everything

For those of you who already know me, you are aware that i have lost my mind. But i could somewhat put up with it with help from my medication. But now iv losing something far more valuable, im losing the one i love most in this world. Something has happened to us that may prevent us from ever seeing each other….i dont want to go into detail. I cant live without this person, i just cant. If things dont work out, im gone. I just cant decide how im gunna kill myself. I have this nice little knife hidden in the back of my safe that i didnt even know existed until a little while ago….maybe i should use that. Although i already have a noose made and a nice little spot in my closet. Or maybe ill use something as simple as a lighter and some lighter fluid. Choices, choices choices. Maybe ill ask the voices, they always have a plan. Im sure i will have come up with something for when the time comes.