Today., for the first time in about 4 months, i stopped taking my meds. Only a couple hours off of them and i feel like im gonna go crazy. Im 13. Ive been taking these meds since i was 7. I started cutting when i was 9. My parents had divorced recently and i decided that it was all my fault and that i should just die. take a great burden off my parents shoulders. but i wasnt ready yet. i wanted to wait until i was older. so i stayed with cutting, burning, and the occasional breaking my bone on purpose. I think it made them hate me more. making them have less money paying for medical bills. Tonight was the first time i tryed to kill myself. I shouldnt have told my friends about this. sending all of them good bye texts. with-in the hour about 300 kids from my grade and school came to my house. thank god my mom wasnt home. she would have noticed something. they all saw me jump off the roof. at that moment my best friend ,jake, caught me. i got out of his arms and slapped him hard across the face. Jake , hannah, olivia, and ryan all stayed and tryed to get me come out of my room. jake came in. i wanted to really die. i hated him. and before he could do anything. i stabbed myself in the stomach. im in the hostpital now. my friends spilled everything to my parents and the docotors. im on suicide watch for the next 2 weeks. the day i get out is the day im gonna kill myself. so, good bye. if you wanna talk me out of it go ahead.
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8 comments
look, its seems your friends love you. please, if you honestly dont care about your life, think about theirs. this isnt the way…
its not your fault that your parents divorced, its theirs. you cant take that onto yourself, because it just isnt true. if your parents were big enough idiots to go marry someone they werent in love with, then thats their fault. dont think that youre to blame just because you happened to be there while it happened. i understand how little your friends can mean to you, but it sounds like they really care about you. haha most of my friends wouldnt walk all the way to my house if i was gonna jump. my point is, dont throw it away just because youve decided that everythings your fault. its not, and even if it was, all you need to do is forgive yourself. you have people who want you to live, and people who can potentially make your life worth living. dont kill yourself, dude. theres plenty left for you.
thank you soo much. and ive started to reliez that it isnt my fault and that i need help. you both have impacted me. thank you. i think you both just saved my life
if you ever need to talk, email me at ‘i.am.not.a.pancake@gmail.com’
… im sorry, but your lying. i get the feeling that your still depressed and contimplating suicide right now. dont. i already can tell you have to much to not kill yourself for.
i may be lying. i just wanna die so badly. the meds they have me on are driving me insaine. i just feel as i dont have a purpose in my life…
reasons for living can look so small and insignificant that you sometimes cannot see them. but for you, you have one huge reason to live and its right infront of you. i could only get half my friends to come to stop my suicide. you got over a hundred. live for them. live for your family. live for your future. heck, live for me! live for your love. its all around you. you just have to open your eyes.
You definitely have a purpose in life. Don’t feel as if the divorce was your fault. Things just weren’t meant to be for your parents. You obviously have friends who love you. I know someone who loves you more than anything else in the world. God. He loves you so much and He wants to help you. Killing yourself will not solve problems, although it may seem like it. God wants the best for you, please don’t ever think otherwise. You have a purpose in life and it is certainly not to take your own life. You are loved beyond measure!