I woke up this morning with a depressive feeling all too familiar to me. Thoughts that accompany this feeling are something along the lines of ‘I’m not good enough…I don’t fit in…life is finite and death can’t be avoided’. These thoughts andÂ feelings have been with me since I was a teenager and years of therapy haven’t made them go away, although it has helped talking about them to someone. I have now trained myself as a psychotherapist andÂ have come into contact with many people who speak of suicidal thoughtsÂ (it really is far more common than I could have imagined).Â Often it is linked to wanting change.Â This may be to do with a situation but is more profoundly linked to a changing sense of self i.e.Â who we are, and the actions we take in the world. Â However, Â embracingÂ change, whilst paradoxicallyÂ an inevitable part of our existence, is not always easy.Â Â I came across this site because I googled something like the ‘easiest way to commit suicide’. Perhaps that sums up some of my ownÂ dilemma. I want it to be easy – life, death. I want it to be painless – life, death. Seems to me that neither are andÂ when I accept this IÂ seem toÂ make the best out of my life, even, if at times, I find that tough. I have no answersÂ as toÂ whether we should or shouldn’t commit suicide, or how to live a happy life. But it seems to me we are stuck with an unavoidable responsibility for whatever action we take. To live, to die….