i give up.
do you know how much shit you get moving to a predominately white hick town? i moved here 4 yrs ago and i get shit evryday for being a diff race (technically black but i look latino or asian) being quiet, being smart, n being a lez. yeah its a lil hard to live when u hear voices evryday.
the worst thing is tht evryone says: oh ull be alright. NO ITS NOT ALRIGHT!!! when someone gets bullied evryday n hears voices tht means u fucking listen to them instead of ignoring them! ive had enough! im not the trash u throw out im not the toy u push aside for a new one I AM A FUCKING LIVING AND BREATHING PERSON!!!
this isnt the only reason why. my back hurts. like an old persons does. my stomach feels like a nuclear waste dump threw up in it. i cant shit unless its diarhea. i keep hearing those damn voices telling me to kill everyone. my chest hurts. i cnt remember nything well anymore. n i keep crying n i dnt kno why.
my life doesnt suck, honest. ive gotten by for 15 yrs. i lve my family n friends. i hve heard voices since i was little, so ive been fine. i play the violin n write. my parents rnt seperated. my sis doesnt hate me. my friends dnt hate me. im just put to the side a lot n it just hurts. but tht happens to often so im okay. see? im smiling. im okay.
no. i really want to go bc honestly why shud i get out of bed anymore. for pain? to hurt myself again? to know that if im gone another person may be saved? so i can listen to pple hurt me? no. im tired. im just too tired to deal with it. i survived longer than i thought. i always thought id die by 13.
so adieu. i give myself 48 hrs to disappear. so at 10:39 wednes day i shall be gone. or at 3:00 thursday since i like it better.
if i find a reason to live by then i may live. i just wanna say good bye now
4 comments
So that’s how you want to be remembered? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC3uVnjswzI&feature=related
I want you to watch this entire series, from part 1 to part 5 and leave any comments before you even think about suicide.
It’s pronounced homicide, not suicide.
I really hope that you don’t end your life. Have you talked to a psychiatrist about the voices? If not, I think you should. After all, you’re already prepared to kill yourself, what do you have to lose from trying?
@eiddnaffokcuf no i dnt want to be remembered by killing a lot of pple. i dnt wanna be remembered period. there isnt any reason to be remembered. why shud i care if im dead?
@ sad thoughts. i hve only seen a therapist n i wudnt talk bout it to them. i dnt want to. ill be put in a mental house n tht scares me more then death. n the pills also scare me too
i didnt know you moved to troy Missouri. its ok to be lez trust the people you have hold them close and let the help u off the floor and set you back on your feet and i know i dont have room to talk cause i just came outta suicidal rehab but help will come i promise you this. hold on we all love you