My little Christmas vacation ends tonight, i have work again in the afternoon….I feel so restless, empty, and as always lonely. I lived my life much longer then i expected too as a child or teen, Am 23 and Ive never planed to make it this far. Its been a long road and Ive learned a lot, and i plan to keep going to keep thinking my philosophical thoughts to the day i die, hopeful as an old man. Yet, i left a huge gap in my life, my childhood and teen years have been spent crying in my room. As such i left a rather empty life to emerge into. You know the saying, its better to love and lost then to never love at all, Well i can tell you its true, as Ive never loved before. Because of my past am a much stronger person, a smarter person. When i was young and depressed one of the odd thoughts that passed my mind was, if i wasn’t this depressed kid, wouldn’t i lose what make me unique, perhaps it was my Social panic disorder that made me afraid to be just like everyone else, but i can tell you now, that what makes me unique is living past such thoughts, being alive and surviving past my suicidal years is what makes me unique. I still get depressed, my life is still rather lonely, but i can wake up and go to work, and i don’t want to die anymore, i want to live
1 comment
thats the mentality so many people on this site lack. Your living proof of what happens when you tough it out through the harsh times. others should use you as an example.