My story? I should be happy, mid 40s, a job I like, no money problems but deeply deeply unhappy inside. A failed relationship and overdose attempt 3 years behind me, no children. My problem from as far back as I can remember is an inability to trust others. Not blessed with a naturally outgoing personality I struggle in social situations. I can put on an act for a while but inside I have thoughts of mistrust, negativity and paranoia. A nicotine addict and negative self confidence.
Lonliness now drags me toward the edge and I plan a peaceful end sometime in early 2011. I have read many of the posts on here and my heart cries out, can someone drowning save another drowning or is it easier to slip under together? Self belief and confidence I have neither. Would not like to go alone. Greter Manchester UK.
2 comments
Just know that you’re not alone with those feelings. Maybe that helps.
I’m in a similar situation as you and I understand. Mid-40s, decent job, few friends, no relationship. Everyone’s busy with their own families, right?
Maybe our expectations are too high? Or maybe modern society makes it such that it’s too easy to become isolated? Or fate just makes it that some people have happy, full lives and others are besieged by loneliness? I know we would just like someone to show some caring and things would be much better.
Sometimes I think that I still have a body and brain that work; maybe I should give up on trying to make myself happy and just use them to help others..? Like become a charitable automaton? Do you think that’s a good idea? It seems a pity to waste a perfectly good body and salary when so many others are sick and/or broke.
Just some things to think about. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more inspirational. I do hope that your pain ebbs and you find some comfort.