I just don’t know what to do anymore. All of the relationships I’ve been in have failed. Almost every guy that I’ve dated has cheated on me. I don’t have any friends. Well I have one very close friend but every time I need help with something she doesn’t even say anything. I’ve been drinking every night for the past 2 weeks. Not planning on stopping either. Which scares me. I kind of feel like I need it though. Its the only thing that makes me even a little happy. My first real love, the person I first did anything with and that I still love so much is getting married. He also has a kid on the way.. I can’t stop thinking about him at all. He even appears in my dreams. I really just miss being happy.