I know it is so selfish to take your life at the holidays…but today, Christmas, has only confirmed to me, even more, that I cannot do this anymore…I have no desire to live. There is no point to live. I know I am making everyone around me crazy with how miserable I am, it would be so much easier if I was not here…maybe then I could be at peace. Peace…what a word. I really don’t think it exists anymore. I have heard my entire life about peace…but there is no such thing.
I don’t want to do anything anymore. I am tired of fighting, dreaming, school, faking it all the time.
My first attempt failed…and again, i know it is wrong to do this at the holidays…but I just have no desire to go on anymore.