*SPOILER ALERT* if you didn’t watch “Black Swan” then go watch it. It’s very well done.
I watched “Black Swan” with my godsiblings over the weekend and although it’s categorized as a Thriller, I was not scared. I was actually surprised about how well the script was written and the performance was by Natalie Portman.
Long story short: it was my life.
Everything she did, was for perfection and approval of everyone. Body issues, constant practicing for perfection, inability to allow your true self free, always doing what others want you to do. Everything she went through, I go through in reality.
It’s not so much the fact that no man will ever love me, but rather the fact that no one will love me because I am imperfect. When she saw her dark self have everything she wants, be everything she wanted to be, I could recall having similar visions and pain of always being on the sidelines and not having the ability to intervene. It still kills me inside that I can’t do anything right for anyone.
i guess this sounds more like a movie review than my feelings, but I wish my visions became as strong as hers so that I too could kill my black swan.