Blackness and Silence, my two companions.

The Blackness,
It is unsettling.
It brings upon anxiety, stress, and paranoid thoughts.
Its best friend Silence,
Tags along when Blackness needs to consume all your hope.
Silence is almost as menacing,
Because when you know Blackness is coming,
You know Silence will be there, and its presence allows you to doubt yourself with each passing second.

Light;
It is an angel from God that comforts and reassures.
When there is Light the world is bustling with people and all sorts of gadgets that can fill the Silence.
When there is Light, there is no time to think about sad or depressing things.
Rather you enjoy your time with your loved ones without a care, the only thing that worries you is that the Blackness will be approaching with each passing second.
The sun will slowly sink into the horizon, splashing vivid colors into the sky,
As a futile last struggle.
That is, if there are no clouds out to mask the sun’s valiant efforts.

Surely enough, Blackness will rule the night,
That is a time when the world falls prey to Silence.
When you are all alone your insecurities pour out like when a flood gate opens.
Thought after thought,
Hour after hour,
The more time you spend in the Blackness the more it consumes you,
However the Blackness along with the Silence are not so merciful,
They pick at you and eat you slowly,
And savor each bit pain and suffering you experience,
Because it’s a game to them.
All of it is a game to them.

Yet they know you’re doing all you can just to stay afloat,
They allow you to get one gasping breath,
And then they quickly submerge you back into the depths of the dark abyss.

They’ll torture you when no one’s looking,
When everyone’s fast asleep.
They’ll strap you down to your bed,
And like water dripping on the same spot,
Repeatedly for hours, days, months, maybe even years,
They keep at it as long as they need to, how devoted they are to cause you pain!
In the beginning, you’re strong enough to endure them and brush it off.

But when the water drips down on the same spot for extended periods of time,
Your skin soon becomes raw;
Later, you start to bleed.
Even later, you lose so much blood that you become unconscious.
But the Blackness and Silence are not so kind as to let you bleed to death;
They revive you, just enough so that they can drip water over somewhere else.

Your thoughts while they tortured you?
I’m all alone.
No one is here.
I’m going to suffer through this, all by myself.
Out of all the people in the world,
You are still capable to feel isolated and alone.
Your cry of help is mute;
Although you’re suffering,
You don’t want to drag anybody else into it.

But when somebody who actually seems to care does come around,
You cling to them,
Maybe they’ll fill the Silence,
Make the Blackness not seem as intimidating.
You become dependent on them,
And then you come back to the painful reality that they are people too.
They aren’t super-powered as to be able to handle all your pain in one go.
And so you suffer more because you bottle up your feelings hoping to protect this one you love.

Is there anyone out there?
Who’ll be my light to guide me out of the Blackness?
Who’ll be the music to my ears and fill the Silence?
Who’ll comfort me anytime I’m broken and in pain?
Who won’t be broken so easily as to be dragged down along with me when I need help?

Will there ever be someone that I can count on?

To many (including myself), Jesus Christ is the answer to your sufferings.
His love letter to mankind has encouraging words, warnings, and promises that have great effect on you.
As of now, Jesus isn’t answering.
We are left alone to deal with the pain of this world, as a test.
But this test is much too hard!
No matter how much we study for this test called life,
There will be so many questions that we cannot answer till we stand in Judgment.

Until then, all I ask is to save me from this wretched place.