‘Cause in the end, it all hurts just the same.

My life is lacking colour,
adventure is what i seek
Nobody particularly gets me
at least,not from the words which i do speak.

Yet i myself don’t get me,
i find myself a joke,
staring aimlessly at my morning reflection
it’s what i did when i awoke.

I haven’t found true meaning
in things which i so wrongly hold dear,
no, i haven’t found my clarity
all too soon, a day, a month, a year.

I’m haunted by the shadow of myself
he’s everywhere i go,
i need answers to my endless questions
but it’s these very answers i don’t know.

Fact.

Isn’t it an odd sensation
this thing which we call truth,
isn’t it strange that once were old
we wished we’d valued youth.

Suspicious.

I think that i am special,
a bit better than the rest.
I do believe that i am special,
yet i do not think that i am blessed.

Suspicious.

I find myself conflicted
with me, myself and i,
I act a certain way to hush unwanted speculation
but im really not that guy.

Reality.

In fact, i think im rather ordinary,
yet then why am i so strange,
i don’t understand the way in which my mind works
yet I’d never want to change.

Conflict.

I need colour, i need spark,
I need life, i need myself.

Why oh why am i only allowed to be a fish whilst wanting to be a bird,
Why oh why is what i have to say only listened to but not heard.

Disappointment.

This is the reason why i retreat
to a land i call my own,
In silence, i sit and think in the privacy of my mind
what a joy to be alone.

Away from a child-like play ground
along with immature never ending screams,
to a fantasy land, where there is no snow but sand,
and dreams, and dreams, and dreams.

I lie. And you believe me
how human of you.

I fooled you, i fooled myself
how super-human of me..

-Ess