considering…

I’m 23, and have been depressed for maybe 4-5 years. I’m debating going ahead and killing myself…the only thing that’s preventing me is the insane college debt I have. While I would love to be rid of it and not think of it, my parents cosigned all my loans, and I fear I would bankrupt them if I died. They are loving supportive parents, and while I think they would have a difficult time losing me, I could still do it. But to put them in a financial crisis? That just seems like something that’s too cruel to do…they’ve worked hard all their lives, and never really got ahead. But I can’t stop thinking about it…I’m not getting better with meds or counseling, and I’m just tired. Tired of life, tired of living in a world where cruel calculating people are rewarded. I need out bad, but the thought of hurting my family is overwhelming. I don’t want to be the cruel calculating person in this situation. If only it wouldn’t hurt them so bad…