i couldn’t take it anymore i fell apart in my room. i was screaming at a butterfly windchime to stop staring at me, then i hurled it across the room. my mom had heard it breal into tiny shards of plastic and came running up. then i cracked.
i blubbed everything i was holding inside. how i wanted to die, how i burned myself, heard voices and had horrible modd swings. then proceeded to cry for two hours while hyperventilating. she told my dad then dragged me to the ER the next day. that was one of the wierdest days of my life. in teh general triage area the nurses were sort of snippy, as though i was wasting their time. but when they sent me to the acut phycological wing everyone was caring.
well in that whole horrid day i was diagonosed as bipolar then they went on to take a CAT scan of my head(to check for tumors) and took 7 vials of blood, which made me almost pass out. the best part is after the tests come back i might have a tumor… in my brain!(sarcasm, i know, not that funny)
but then before i left they put me on some med. but the cool thing was for the first time in all my 15 years, i didn’t have a black cloud over my head or frendzied energy. but the drawbacks are still there, i have shortness of breath (a listed minor side effect) yet i think maybe this whole ER thing wasn’t too too bad. and maybe for people out there still searching and who are scared of themselves or harming themselves like me. find someone who can help you. i know being on meds forever and having a shrink isn’t great, but for me i’d rather try this than dying
2 comments
Hi crystal_tears 🙂
Thanks for sharing. You write beautifully!
And your story is inspirational. Good luck with everything!
thanks muspelhem!