ive been wanting to try suicide, but i kno that it would ruin my families lives, i often think about it everyday thinkin of different scenarios of how and where i should do it. i have a best friend/brother that said he would be there for me whenever i needed to talk about it but ive tried and he never is able to listen and sometimes i just dont tell him because im scared of what would happen if i do. everytime im stressed or depressed or if something goes wrong and i just start acting suicidal i cut. i like the way that it makes me feel, the way that i could let all me frustration out into that cut instead of something else. im just trying to find someone that would listen and care instead of someone who wont give a crap. cutting is the only way other then actually doing suicide.
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Hey, tell me, what is going on? why it hurts?
everything that has happend over the last 2 years i guess has just made me breakdown, everyone in my family expects me to be perfect and keep pushing me, but in the end it turned out to be a bad thing to do i felt soo pressured i lost it. ive been cutting since i was probably 11 its helped, but ive tired to stop with the help of my so called best friend but latley it hasnt been working.
What do thy want from you? are you in Uni?
i guess what every parent wants from their kid good grades, no alcohol, no drugs, to not go to prison, but they think that whatever i do is bad they think that i will turn into my sister or my brother when i tell them i wont, its just too much for me. they ask so much from me that i cant think straight on what to do. and no im not in uni.
One how old are you. Two tell be real the way you feel.
im 16, the way i feel? ha theres alot that i feel about this, angry, frustrated, sad.
what do you want to do now?
i dont kno i just kno that i cant keep living like i am now but there no way for me to fix it so ill see where it leads to