I’m always a failure that’s what every one says. I failed in life. Every thing I held dear to me is now gone. My Grandmother died from lung cancer December 6, 2010 my brithday is December 30, 1987. We had so much planed. we were going to have fun, But I failed her. I feel like I killed her. I failed her. When she was hurting I shrugged it off thinking it was nothing. If I paid attention she might be still here. I lost a lot. I lost my house and all my beloved animals. one of my dogs was put down cause no one wanted her cause she was old. My cat was put down cause she was a outside cat and was 13. My Husky was put in a kill shelter cause I lost my house. I failed them. I’m losing my car and nobody cares. I had to move in with my Mother. Shes always telling me that I’m a failure in life. “worthless peace of shit why cant you do any thing right” or “your a Fucking freeloader who do not care bought any one” shes always calling me stupid, dumb, retarded, A failure to society. I can not find a job cause I never had one cause I was taking care of my grandmother for 5 years since I got out of high school. So I failed in life. whats the point in life any more. I do not have any thing to live for any more it was all taken from me. I suffer from PTSD and severe Chronic depression. and I was ok till now. Grandma made me hole. she said every thing was going to be ok. but its not it never is. I just want to give up. whats the point any more.
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3 comments
Your mom seems to be the main problem here,
Sometimes people close to us can *easily* just spill out words (and shits, I’d say) carelessly without thinking first the implications and consequences they will have to other person.
And that can unfortunately be so distorting one’s perceptions that he/she can’t see that Life is actually MUCH MORE than everything ur Mom said.
Ur mom’s perceptions is hers.
It’s not yours.
You have your own, and it’s up to you to either nurture it and grow it and share it, or let it be molded by other person.
I say, try choosing the former,..and u might see ur life really turn around.
Either confront and tell ur mom how her words make u feel,
or if she won’t listen, find ways to be independent and live on your own, with noone constantly breathing down ur neck.
Try to be You yourself. Not ur Mom.
It’s worth it.
Do not pay attention to any negative comments. Find family and friends that will give you positive feedback. You must not give up! If you give up, you will not be able to move forward. Keep trying, a door will open for you. One door at a time. This web site has many kind people who understand what you are going through and will give you honest positive advice. DO NOT GIVE UP! People do love you. Find them and surround yourself with them.
I am so, so sorry to hear about your animals. I am sure that is the most difficult thing of all. You did not kill your grandmother and you did not kill your animals. I know your regret must be unbearable. But they have all gone to sleep and they are not suffering, and it is not your fault. Life gave you more burdens than you could handle, that is all.
I wish you peace in whatever way you choose to travel.