I may be giving too many details, yet as I said before I don’t know what’s next I tend to go through life with out a plan.
I’m a 27 year old college student. The reason why I’m 27 years old is because I had a job for the last 7 years working in education and although the money was eventually great (85,000/year). I knew I wanted out because I hate what I did for a living. I lied and cheated my way through community college and got an awesome GPA. (and when I said I lied and cheated, I really mean that I lied and had to cheat to get through) The times that I lied were when I would quit going to class for a week or so(just couldn’t get out of bed) and then I would make up some story about work or my family life and how I had to miss those classes.  I applied to a really good university and some how got in as a transfer student.
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I’ve also been a sponge off my family and friends and going to and finishing school is my last chance to redeem my self. I’m just too afraid that my depression won’t allow my to. I can’t fail again. I just cant. Death seems safer.
The only thing that helps me fall asleep at night is my decision to kill myself. Wow its like you read my mind thats my comforting thought too i dont think i could sleep without it
please tell me about yourself. where are you from… what do you study.. nad what do you mean by “compulsive decisions”. i think i make them too. tell me about it.