One love.

So, I’ve been suicidal ever since I can remember. I remember being a little girl, trying to hang myself by skipping rope… My family use to abuse me both physically along with sexually. I was an insecure child being both white and indian like native american indian. I was never accpeted by the white because I had native blood and vice versa with the indians. I was alone. I started cutting at age 10 and gradually went deeper as I got older. I never had a father, so I never knew how to act. Around boys. My mom was a work-a-holic so we always had babysitters… Summer ’08 I was hospitalized because I took too many pills. The doctors said since I was so young (13) that I didn’t understand what I was doing but they were wrong. That october I tried again by overdosing on e, instead of perscripting drug. I ended up in the hospital because my heart almost bursted. Here in the east coast they don’t really have many treatment center but to this day I still wonna take my own life. But one person is making it worthwhile, funny enough its not God, though I love Him very much but its a guy named Micah. He is a youth pastor and I adore him so much… I just hope ill be dealt a good deal of cards as I get older and this emptiness I feel will be filled.