It all started when I was 17 I started doing drugs and drinking, slowly over the next four years. I have repeatedly fucked up my life though numereous people have tried to help me. For Awhile everything was fine but I have pushed my family away to the point that they disown me. Everytime I get a girl in my life I fall helplessly head over heels an throw my life further down the drain. Doing anything I can to make the woman happy but in the process I neglect everything an everyone else. JustÂ to have the woman leave me in the end.
In September of 2010 I lost my job and my car cause i couldnt afford the car payments, along with my house, now im bouncing from what little friends houses I have left. But alas I have run out of places to stay.Â I have not been able to find another job though not for the lack of trying. I was hustlin but just about got caught up an ending up in jail. I constantly feel like a mouse backed into a corner buy a cat. Helpless, depressed, emotionally drained, stressin 24/7.
Here recently I have seriously contemplated suicide, I have a tanto that i constantly sharpen. Every night I hold it to my throat an cry. I just can’t believe that this is what my life has come to. Though in my younger years my parents did everything in there power to give me good oppurtunities I have let them down everytime. I just want to end my life an start again.
Please some help me!