I tried, I tried to socialise.
You see, it’s my moms birthday party, and she has around ten close friends over. All laughing and joking. But obviously being me, the akward angella. I’ve got to sit in the corner and panic at every look.
How did I get this way? I used to be the glue to every occasion, I would dive right into the deep end, and frollic like a little child. Now, I’m afraid to even dip my toe in the water.
I can here them, laughing their asses off downstairs. And, it breaks my heart. I wish that I could be like them, I really do. But It’s just not meant to be; Apparently.
I’ll be alone forever. Not because no-one cares, but because everyone who tries, get’s nothing back; I really am my own worst enemy.
1 comment
It’s easy to feel like the you can’t socialize at all but it’s who and how that are important. There’s always going to be people you don’t fit in with, even people you used to can become foriegn to you and that doesn’t make you a screw up, it’s not your fault you’ve grown away from them. It’s hard when you feel like your the one screwing things for yourself but you have to try and think that this is just your fault, it’s easy to feel like your mistakes are unbelievably bad when in reality when 99% of the time there not as bad as you think. Don’t expect failure in social circumstances (easy to say, hard to do) and you might find something that works for you