Im tired of people telling to snap out of it
Im tired of people saying its just a phase
Im tired of people making fun of me
Im tired of people telling me it will get better
Im tired of people telling me to stay on my meds
Im tired of people telling me i can get through this
Im tired of people asking if im ok when they already know the answer
Im tired of seeing and hearing shit that isnt there
Im tired of not being able to cut a little bit deeper
Im tired of only having the emotions: sadness, hatred, and guilt
Im tired of life only getting worse
Im tired of losing my friends
Im tired of crying
Im tired of hurting myself in an attempt to feel numb
Im tired of not having the motivation to do anything
Im tired of only seeing the bad in everything
Im tired of my mind telling me how to kill myself with any object i see
Im tired of praying to god when he dosnt give a damn about me
Im tired of being jealous of every person that can smile out of happiness
Im tired of having to fake everything
Im tired of the doctors
Im tired of completely hating myself
Im tired of the people who say the care when they really dont
Im tired of feeling trapped all the time
Im tried of staring at the ceiling, wishing it would collapse on me
Im tired of my mind being consumed with thoughts of death
Im tired of breathing
Im just fucking tired of it all
For a while i honestly thought that i might be able to recover and live a life. God, was i wrong. I dont know what the fuck possessed me to think that way. Iv been this way since i was a little kid, after years of hell, why would it get better all of a sudden? Maybe it was because i could barley feel the emotions i was faking. I guess that just made me think im getting better. But really, im just getting worse. Im just fucking fed up with life, nothing ever goes right for me. I plan on killing myself by carbon monoxide poisoning the day i get a car. Iv tried other stuff, but iv never had the guts to do it. Iv put a loaded gun to my head many times and iv tried hanging myself twice. I couldnt kill myself any of those times. But something is different now. Before, i had a reason or two to live. Now, I still have a few reasons to live, but i want to die so bad now that i think i can go through with it and forget about those reasons. This pain is unbearable, i just cant take it anymore. Im tempted to just go jump infront of a car on the highway. But i dont want to take a chance that i will survive. So im probably not going to do that. That just means that i have to wait a little bit over two months to get a car and kill myself.
4 comments
Wow most of my thoughts exactly!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU&ob=av2el
Powerful song with powerful lyrics.
God cares about you dont dout bout that dont even say that. please message me. gummy.bears@ymail.com
Car exhaust doesn’t work. The emissions systems are too good these days. I’ve tried it.