I’m young (15 years old), but I can’t handle anything anymore. Â I’ve been diagnosed with chronic depression and put on medication which doesn’t help much, although I’ve switched medications almost ten times already. Â I’m just tired of it.
So I’ve read into the exit bag method. Â It looks promising, but I don’t have the helium or carbon monoxide readily available. Â I do, however, have canned air. Â I researched it, and even though it’s the opposite of helium (heavier than air rather than lighter), it makes you pass out, regardless, which is the point of the helium anyway.
Anyway, I’ve read about people failing because their body reacts, such as pulling the hood off while unconscious. Â I really don’t think that that’s really possible (they were probably still conscious, just panicking), but to be safe, I’ll tie my hands behind my back. Â I’ll also be sitting upright to make sure that I don’t vomit and drown myself that way.
Anyway, I’m just sick of my dad and other family members. Â My little brother has mental issues, and I love him to death, and hope he has a good life, but I’m afraid I’ll let him down when he grows older. Â My older brother is okay. Â But he can get annoying at times. Â My mother is great, and I love her to pieces, but my step-father isn’t so. Â I cried throughout their whole wedding, because I didn’t like him. Â I still don’t like him. Â I know he tries to be good, but he just doesn’t succeed. Â So I love him for trying, and for caring, and for being there, but trying doesn’t help if it doesn’t get you anywhere.
I could’ve had a good life in my future; I get good grades, have a dad that’s willing to get me anything (I don’t necessarily take advantage of that, only for things I absolutely need), and more. Â But morally, he’s an ass. Â He physically abused me as a child, and is currently ignoring me for no reason whatsoever. Â Anyway, I’m also on the fencing team at my school, and have a few friends. Â But none of them seem to acknowledge pain. Â Like emotional pain. Â And I can’t take anything anymore, there’s just too much work in life.
So please don’t try to offer help, it’s not going to stop me. Â You can comment though, condolences, etc.