trapped in a invisible prison

i hate my life, it seems from the moment i was born everything’s just gone wrong for me. i have no friends, never had a girlfriend and don’t get along with my family very well. the reason for all of this is because i have some sort of social phobia that makes me scared to be around other people and because of this people tend to think i’m weird (or in some cases retarded) and they just don’t wanna be around me either. i’ve been trying to get help with this for years but unfortunately no doctor can tell me what the exact nature of the problem is, some of them even think the problem is just in my head. i’ve been alone my whole life, trapped in my own invisible prison and it’s driving me insane. i’ve already attempted suicide twice (and failed obviously) and afterwards i felt really guilty thinking about how much i hurt my family by doing this (i know i said we don’t get along very much but we still love each other). to my suprise i wasn’t sent to a mental hospital after both attempts, i was just told to see a psychiatrist and take medication. it helped at first but now the medication doesn’t help anymore and i’m thinking of killing myself again but i don’t wanna hurt my family. what should i do? somebody please help me