sadly im still hear. this just makes me even more upset.. im to affraid to do anything. but i want to. i want peace. i want my heart to stop hurting. i want all the pain to dissapear. but im to scared it will hurt. id love to be able to die in my sleep. but im not old enough and my heart is in perfict health. i dont understand anything anymore.
the memories of being raped, molested, and beaten all rush back. i want to lie in bed and cry. i want to stay with my mom and live in the little happiness i have left. things get worse and then alittle better then back to worse again. i dont know what to do anymore. i really dont.. now.. im second guessing myself about dieing… but then at night the thoughts of sliting my throat or hanging myself come to haunt me. i cant sleep anymore… im so lost in this darkness that surrounds me i dont know what to do anymore.. i want my mommy….