i am fifteen and am home by myself most of the time. my little brother is the happiest kid i know. my mom acts like a teenager and goes out all the time, leaving me and my brother home alone. and well, my dad is dead. lately ive been the most unhappy person you could probably ever meet in your life. ever. i am always having to hide how i feel. i wish i could tell my mom that i smoke weed to make myself feel better and to escape reality. but even weed hasn’t been helping my problems lately. i am alone. my friends dont want me anymore. im scared that my life isn’t going to end up going anywhere since i am already failing school. and my health problems are fucking up my life.
i just want it to end. who can tell me a quick and painless way to make all of this end? something that i can do at home while my brother is at school and my mom is at work? i dont want to hurt them, but im tired of hurting myself. please help me.
4 comments
you are pretty young my dear, no matter what you go through right now i am sure it is not something permanent. Grades can be fixed. Feeling of loneliness can go away. It is not a smart decision to opt for death when your problems can be overcomed. Talk to your mom. Tell her how you feel about her going out all the time. Tell her how lonely you feel. I’m sure both of you are going to find out ways to fix it. Maybe she will decide to stay home more often and she will make sure you make a lot of new friends by being involve in a lot of extracurricular activities… In no time you will be going out with your new friends and coming home to your mom. Your problem is not permanent. Death is not the solution. Think about it. 🙂
Im so sorry that you are going through all of this. And I know that going through it alone dosent make things any easier. But suicide isnt the answer. Grades can easily be changed, i used to be get F’s and D’s all the time at school. But iv changed that now. And im sure you can make a bunch of new friends with other activities such as soccer, basketball, and tons of other stuff like lala was mentioning. And trust me, no suicide is painless. It may be for you, but not for the ones that care about you. Please give this some more thought. If u want to talk, my email is Daniel56843@gmail.com
I had zero friends in high school. Just the superficial hi and bye friends. The kinds you would only talk to at school, but after school, nothing. I would never be included in any of their activities. Ever. And the whole bureaucracy at school didn’t make things any easier. But trust me when I say it gets so much better after high school. It’s literally like “whew! glad that’s over!” I found some awesome people just like me, I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not. And I’m now comfortable just being me. I can even sit a lunch table alone without feeling insecure!
You can try reading. And music. They’re the best forms of escapisim. During middle and high school, books became my best friends. I read constantly so the whole being left out of things didn’t really hurt me. Plus I had two awesome little sisters who made me feel important when I got home. I also had this ipod shuffle that I put all my favorite music and just listen to it. It definitely helped pass the time while riding the bus to and from school! Trust me when I say this will pass. Weed or alcohol won’t make things easier. Just more complicated.
But for now, just work on creating memories with your brother. Do thing’s you’ll look back on together and laugh. You two are all each other’s got. You mentioned he’s the happiest kid you know. Don’t make him one of the saddest. Your leaving will do that. I think you’re going to hurt your family more than you think by ending your life. And you’ll miss on all the awesome things you can possibly do one day.
Talk to your school counselor. That’s what they’re there for. No matter what you’re going through it’s not worth it to end your life. You weren’t born into this world just to end up leaving so early. The only way you’re allowed to die is from old age! Lol. Just please find someone to talk to. Even me.
if you ever need me message me carissaporter95@gmail.com