!

I was hoping this would help me find a fool proof way of “stop the world ” i want to get off, ive read all the splurge – cowards way, think of those you leave behind but at no one can comprehend the dark forces at work you feel there are more desrving people who should live rather than you ask god to swap them for you god what ****ing god a higher power who the **** knows hate yourself despise disgusted to even want to find any one to talk to no one could begin to know whats going on iside your head( let me just point out i ve not commited any crime! other than being alive on this planet) when others do, to spend the largest part of your life thinking about it – about 30 years not having the ******* guts to do it trying to think of ways you could  IT HAS to be successful the thought of failing is horrific its like being two different people its got worse as i got older

gotta find away! there has to be can’t bear thought of the next 5 10 15 whatever years