i cant deal with it realy…its to hard….i spend most of my time alone all my firends r to fair away frm me now..i thought i could deal with it and i was for a wile then i got with my ex…2 fucken yrs i gave him and he was helping me pick up the peices and stop being so bad….then he just goes..and i broke again…i put on a brave face for everyone wen i just wana slice my wrists and sleep and never wake up its even hard not to cut anymore :'( i dont wana slip backwards anymore i noe its gettin back again i dont want to be on the meds again i hated being on them all they did was mess with my moods and stop me frm sleeping i miss how it use to be..i could show a real smile and be happy then it went down hill and i found my relise frm cutting and i use to do it all the time and always i would look down at my bleeding arms and thing wat have i done to myself and endup crying myself to sleep eveynite..i hated covering myself up but i felt so ashamed of wat i had done so i would go home and cut and it turned into a vishois cycle over and over and to this day my arms wrists and my legs a mared with wat i done i do try..very hard to not get down and sad but sometimes i cant help it there r days where i think great can i get any lower in the grvae ive dug but oh no aparantly i can and down i go deeper..i feel bad because im hurting people i love and r close to but i cant help it..i think eventualy they will all leave me as well i no somewhere in the back of my mind there is that little voice that says or being silly it will all be ok and go to sleep or have something to eat..something silly like that but there is a big booming voice over the top of it saysh ur worthless nothing but a commen emo wana be cutting ur wrists is so dumb people hate u they think ur some slut god just go and die …..i dont nno wat to say to the voice some days its easyer then others to say hay fuck you and let the little guy past but others its like well who cares anymore and it feels like the more i spend alone the bigger that voice gets and the more i cave..i scared that oneday its going to take over and next time someone is here wont be :'( someone anyone please just tell me want i can do anything will be good maybe even be my firend and talk to me i would be happy to have one close frirend to talk this stuff over with and just be there and be there for them also…
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hey i would like to talk to you! find me here! emo.why@gmail.com
How old are you?, if you dont mind me asking? I would be happy to talk to you.
I know I am probably going to ask you the same questions as everyone does, but I need to know.
Have you been to speak to anyone about the way you feel?
I know you dont want to be on meds again, but have you tried mood stablisers?
Let me know if you want to talk. I am here for you x
im 21 turning 22 this yr and ive been to many therapits and counlers but where i am not there is none that dont cost a pritty peny
and wat r mood stabilisers???
Where do you live? Check with your local health authorities and mental health associations. You may find that they offer a course of therapy for free. I know when My dad died I refused help but my brother, sisters and my mum all went to something called ‘Art Therapy’. It was free for them and was run in the grounds of our local hospital.
Mood stabalizers are a prescribed medication given by your GP. My ex and my brother are both on them. I know they have helped my brother who has been diagnosed with BPD. They are there just to help you feel less manic. My brother has said that they have helped him and he does not feel suicidal at the moment. Maybe you could see if your doctor would be willing to try you on them.
My brother is currently taking Olazapine… If you Wikipedia ‘Mood Stabalizers’ you can have a read x
thanks…not to sure about them ive been on a few dif aniti depressants and didnt like how thay made me feel they took me frm overly happy too wayy down in the lows
i live in australia so theses not alot of those free places ur talking bout here not in this little town im in…but i think i might go and talk to my dr about mood stablisers and see what she says about it..shes been a great dr 🙂
If you want to talk just mail me ( sander.jansen.89@gmial.com ). I have been thou a lot as well but talking always ease the pain… feel free to talk… I’m always there for people when they need someone.
I hope they can offer you the support you need. I understand what you mean about anti depressants. I became dependant on them and sleepers and didnt feel right without them. Then they stopped working, stopped making me feel numb and I was just groggy and irritable.
If you want to talk more I am here, but I also have a facebook and a support group on there. Look me up. Holly Bryan x