I used to think that I was a pretty strong person, until recently. I don’t know how I got to where I am now, but I just can’t find the strength or happiness to go on living anymore. I am a smart, tall, pretty good-looking girl, and ever since college, I’ve usually had a boyfriend. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few days after New Year’s this year and it’s been debilitating. I never thought that it would be this hard. We used to talk about getting married, having kids, and settling down, and when he broke up with me it came as a complete shock. I’ve realized now that there are things that we both did wrong to get us to where we are, but I still want to get back together to show him that we can be great again. Except every time I try to reach out to him, I get shut down and it’s so hard to deal with. I’m turning 28 at the end of March and I don’t want to celebrate with anyone. I just want to quietly disappear. From everything. Life would just be easier that way you know. I’m tired of being sad and lonely.
That being said, I’ve tried to do research online about the best ways to commit suicide, but I guess there isn’t an “easy” way. Do any of you have any suggestions? I would like for it to be something relatively painless and quick. And something that will not go wrong (ie. not something that will give me the possibility of living aftewards.) How embarassing would that be…I coudln’t even kill myself successfully…
5 comments
Well I’m glad I embarrassed myself by failing at ten suicide attempts because I am alive and happy now.
I understand you feel hurt and alone, but it is your decision to feel that way. You can feel better and there are people out here to help you through this, if you reach out.
Trust me there is no easy or pain free way of dying, your body wants to live even if your mind doesn’t xxx
All methods have their pros and cons. If you decide to take that route, you have to find the one that is right for you. None of them are “easy” per say. Unless you happen to possess particular knowledge/contacts (chemists/doctors have it best!)
But I digress, you don’t really want to take that path do you? A break-up isn’t anything to get too depressed over. Well yeah it does cause massive depression, specially after a long term relationship and all that future planning. But anyone who breaks up with you probably doesn’t deserve you anyway. Don’t dwell on the past. Look for new paths that have opened up to you now. Surround yourself with friends. Make new ones if you don’t have any. Find something you really enjoy doing. Enjoy single life for a while. If you end it all, you’ll never give yourself the chance to be happy and be with someone who you really can have a future with.
this same thing happend to me after nearly 3 years my girlfreind that i lived with cheated on me and we split up , i’d been getting down the last few months and i hadnt realised this , it seems she tried to help me but i wouldnt let her untill it was too late i didnt relise what I was doing i also relised what problems we had and i know they were fixable but she doesnt want to know now ive also recently lost all my money on bad investments in november am out of work atm and now im back staying in a room at my parents it seems she left me when i needed her most. I cant go on without her shes taken all my socail activities and seems to have fallen with this new guy although there not together its obvoius that shes that way i cant go out with the large groups of freinds we have anymore or see her at all she seems to have a horrible attitude towards me all of a sudden im 31 and feel like theres nothing left for me to do and ive had to stop speaking to everyone and now just sit here wishing i was dead , i cant control my thoughts and just want the pain to end, i cant see what i could possibly ever achive anymore and also i no longer enjoy anything i tryed at the weekend to go to a friends birthday party that she doesnt hang about with but i just sat there feeling really awkward and had to leave… ive got a exit bag and hellium canaster but no flow control for it cant seem to get one and dont know wether to risk it or not. I dont know what to do its seems so hard either way….
@Angel Ash and sadlisa – Both your words really connected with me.
It’s hard because I try to put on a strong face so no one will know how weak I really am and how much the break up has been affecting me. This has been the only place that I could really show my real self and how difficult it’s been. I honestly think I’m in some sort of depressed state because I’ve been crying every single day and it’s hard to get myself to do anything, other than go to work. I just signed up to start volunteering again and hopefully that will keep me busy. I read that it helps to make a list of everyone who loves you so I’ve done that too. Lastly, I decided to start writing in a journal every day and to end each entry with something that I am grateful for. I’m hoping this will help keep me in positive spirits, but only time will tell.
I am blessed to have encountered your post. I saw how positive you are. Indeed, God gives us trials in which we can surely handle. He gave you those hardships because He knows that despite everything you will still see the light and the beauty behind them. God bless you! Take care always~