I walk across that bridge atleast once a day. Every time i wonder if Â i’ll do it. Never seem to probably because im always walking with people and dont want to put them through that. Guess im not ready yet.
We climbed to the top of these trees saw a beautiful sunset got some great pictures, i lost my grip on one hand and let go with the other. just got banged up. My best friend saw and came running after “are you okay?” Â “Dont ever do that agin, or ill kill you myself”(all that good stuff). I was ready that time, but i realize now i could never do it in front of her.
I can drink, smoke, cut, and do crazy stuff in front her, but not take my life in front of her. She keeps me alive most the time. if i was home i would have done it already.
Im starting to care less and less lately. Im off my meds and not sleeping. My Bpd is getting worse and im affraid of what i might do. Im cutting more and more to control it.