I am going to try to sleep, and maybe check and see if anyone responds in the morning. I hate myself and I hate life. Not just my life, but being alive. I hate thinking. I hate existing. I don’t want any of it. In death I hope there is no afterlife, if there is I hope it is optional because this one wasn’t. I am 33 years old. Divorced. Broken. I have never had any of those special qualities that people look for in a partner, the only person to ever tell me they loved me tried to kill me over and over and over again until I kicked her out of my house. That was years ago, I haven’t had anyone stick around for more than two weeks since. I got nothing because I am nothing. I am probably going to kill myself this week. I should have just let that ***** do it for me.