Â
Today is a bad day, or was, it’s almost over. I don’t know why I am writing this, here and now.
Everything that has happened this week has been depressing to me, even though most of it is not of a depressing nature. It just is what it is, but I have been taking things too seriously. Perhaps it is stress.
Today I saw a tv show from the 60s, with these young ladies who were falling in love with this handsome young man. It depressed me because I am not handsome and never had young women fawning over me. It was a tv show I know and I shouldn’t care, but it hurt seeing that.
I saw a tv show and an old man told a young guy that he loved him, that he loved him like a son. I cried when I saw that. I wished I had a older man tell that to me, my father never did.
I saw another movie tonight, the young lady loved another guy. Why didn’t anyone ever love me and be my soulmate?
I am near 60 years old, so I feel stupid being here telling you this, with lots of younger people who have their troubles in here. I had mine at their ages too, probably worse in many ways. I don’t know how I lived so long.
I quit my job in november because I was stressed out from it all, and thought I could make it working from home. I haven’t made a dime since then, and don’t want to go back to work, even if I could at this age. I try to make money but all I do is spend it on stupid stuff. Eventually the money will run out, I can’t pay rent, and I can’t go bankrupt (because I already did that like 5 years ago), so the only way out is suicide.
If someone were to buy a website I build, I would feel better, but nobody will. I feel very down right now, though I know I should keep going.
And I cannot sleep, I am so wound up and jittery…the good thing is I don’t want to get drunk, or is that a good thing?
I know the answer is to feel grateful for what I do have, to be happy and grateful, and there is much to be grateful for. But I just am not in the mood. I am in the mood to feel sorry for myself.
Thank you for reading, this is enough for tonight.
6 comments
Take care and pray you have some sleep tonight…
Hi
about the websites, you can definitively sell them. I did that myself. Basically what I would do is scan the internet for whatever a branch I wanted, say English academies, where they teach English. Then you see that they have phone number, a name but no web. You ring them and tell them, hey I saw you dont have a web, I am selling mine for 99 Euros. And 1 out of 3 calls wanted. Of course I was not selling the same web to everybody (well now that I think why not ? as long as they are far away from each other 🙂
I dont know how you are developing them, but if you are targeting, as you should, the small individual business, you just use CMS, either Joomla, Wordpress or something similar. You get the templates for free on the internet and put them in the repository. You can have 10 different webs sitting on the same structure by just replacing the templates which you can do with joomla in about 10 seconds or less.
The only problem that I have is that if they say no, I tell them to go and fuck off, it is a character thing. 🙂
And if you say you can eventually get a job do it. Maybe better part time so that you dont put too much load on you, but part time job would do you great instead of sitting at home.
You wont believe this but in person I met a 63 year old guy, who was kind of small, skinny, but who seduced an 18 year blossom girl from Spain. The girl was staying at his house as a foreign student. They went to Berlin and he fucked her from head to foot. I know the girl very well, her name was Monica and she looked outstandingly great So, if that guy achieved that. Anything in life is possible.
So, as per the webs you can get an account at Arvixe for example. You can load up to 6 websites for the price of 1 by just placing them in subdirectories. All for 7 dollars a month. By doing that and using Joomla and the template technique I described to you, you can have 10 websites ready to sell in one day. Put them an affordable price such as 99 dollars and you can really sell them.
regards
O
@i dunno. i totally understand where you’re coming from. my story is a little different, but i feel the same way you do very often. i feel sometimes that suicide is my only option as well. i’m sorry you’re feeling so low. you are not alone.
Thank you for the responses. I got some sleep and feel a little better today, and all I can do for today is keep going.
The sites I create are Wordpress, for niches that are searched for a lot. I probably set my sights too high and should at least get my foot in the door with a small success. I hate selling and could never do cold calling.
As for getting an 18 year old to seduce, that isn’t what I want. I want a lady closer to my age who would like to cuddle sure, but mostly who could be a soulmate to me, someone who could love me unconditionally, and me her. And I’d better stop before I start crying.
wordpress is cool and if you have found niches then start in there. As per the woman, then that is good news for you because if you want someone similar in her fifties or so, there are plenty of them looking for someone like you. You are a good natured man, with a good heart, cultivated and who can even do websites so there is a lot ahead on you. My grandma lived until the age of 101 and she left because she said her friends were waiting for her and she was always late, so at least another 40 years to go you have. My father is 80 and I always say that the mother phucker of him will bury me as I see him jogging here and there.
I have some websites in PHP, with a lot of fancy stuffs in JQUERY and AJAX for the travel industry, guess what ? I am getting one visit a day or less. After all the hardwork I took nobody gives a phuck, well actually nobody knows that it exists, shit!
That’s funny, my best website is a blog witrh one post. It got 8 clicks today, and is ranked #1 for the term “cheap wine glasses”. It’s there now, go look. I don’t dare sell it, I just wish I had 50 more like it.