I have been researching suicide obsessively. I ended a relationship about a year ago and have since come to realize it was the biggest mistake that I have ever made. I knew when it was ending that I was entering the abyss and I still did it. Now I am unable to function and all I can think about is what I would have said or done. It seems like alot of the people here have been screwed over by situations that are out of their control whereas I am the cause of mine. I cannot forgive myself. I am waiting a little bit longer to see what happens in life. The image of my dead body in a car with two charcoal grills in the back frightens me. On the other hand I won’t be here to see it. I think the world is just fine. But I was not meant to be here. Much love to all the other poster. I hope it works out for you guys. One way or the other.