I feel like things are getting better and then they go and get worst again.
Why is it so hard to just move on from things and just let go. I don’t fucking get it.
Sometimes I feel like I want to be helped and move on with my life and then other times I just feel like there is no hope so I might as well just deal with it or just fucking die.
Alls I keep thinking about is how torment free my family, friends and (ex?)boyfriend will be if I just pop my clogs.
I actually get a shiver down my spine when I think that we all might just be happy without me here. Sure there might be a few tears. But people move on. When a loved one dies in our lives, we are told to grieve and move on right? So why would it be any different for me?
I’ve decided this week that I am going to leave uni. I just can’t take it any more.
Everyone has something they are really good at in life yeah? Well I obviously just don’t have one. I just don’t have anything. So why is it that everytime I try and kill myself I fail? I can’t even fucking succeed at that.
I don’t mean to bring anyone else down.
Just finding today a really hard day to live through.
The future is bleak.