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Forever since I’ve been here…

by oktobresnoe

Hey guys. God, I’ve missed yall. The last time I was on here was before Christmas I think. So much stuff has been going on lately that I don’t even know where to start. Well, I guess what I came on to say, is that right now, I’m supposed to be having an awesome time hanging with my “friends.” I’m having a party right now, but I’m the only one awake. Even before they fell asleep, I wasn’t here. I was just invisible. Not sure why I’m telling you all this, especially considering how unimportant it is compared to all the crap that’s been going on in other parts of my life lately.  I guess I just needed to vent a little bit, I don’t know.

I will say one thing: I ran into a really old friend today Actually, he was one of my first friends in this world. He was here beside me, every step of the way, teaching me how to handle all this. I haven’t talked to him in almost a year, and I found him again, but I still can’t talk to him. Guys? I loved him, but I had to leave him and all of my other friends from then behind. We’re not even close to the same age, and I’ve never actually met him, but we talked so much and I was more honest with him than anybody else I know.

It’s not likely that you’ll ever see this, Daniel Wise, but if you do, just know that I loved you then, and I still love you now. I don’t even believe in love, because it never lasts. But I do believe in us and what we had. I miss you so much and would give anything to go back to just being whoo I was then, but I can’t because I had to go and screw everything up. I’m so sorry.

Daniel? If you ever see this, please forgive me. I think I love you.

                                                     xoxo,

                                                           Oktobre

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3 comments

aaltera 2/12/2011 - 11:40 am

Romans 8:38-39
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Love is real, and it last.

Love,
Adrianne

Dark Sunshine 2/12/2011 - 12:04 pm

Awwww, well that is nice, i hope he forgives you and in time…loves you.

viggen 2/12/2011 - 12:40 pm

You should tell him! I think maybe he’s thinking the same! The way I see it your on a suicide site so what have you got to lose? But you have a lot to gain!!

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